lucid dreams

As far as dreams go, this has got to be one of the weirdest. 

okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. I can't be the only person who dreamt I have a baby.. 

yup, a baby, from the looks of it, probably about a year old. And the one thought that followed constantly through the dream was: HOW on earth did I get pregnant and have a child?? With all the appearances of a single mother. 

Nightmare much?

While it is not unusual to actually remember your dream when you're fully awake, people usually forget about 90% of their dreams 10 minutes after you get your arse off the bed. I quote this from the DreamMoods website. The last dream that i could remember so vividly was from 3 months ago. It felt really personal, but the only thing i retained from that was the feeling of someone giving me a back-hug. That's probably not the dream to put me in the best of moods and i woke up depressed *swt* 

At 21, I feel like an underachiever. (Gosh, aren't I rambling a lot today?) Over the past 3 weeks, I've been making lists of things to accomplish per week. The post-it note bearing the first week's objectives have yet to be trashed. (meaning there's still something on that list I haven't done) So much for making little goals in life, huh? We'll just get to the point now, i'm supposed to delete this blog, clear away all my cyberspace footprints. Silly sentimental me has kept this same space (changing a LOT of domain names along the way) for so long, that it feels like it's time to let go. 

Somehow, my internal battle is still raging on whether i should just bin everything or just bin the account. We'll know soon enough, no? 

"May the odds ever be in your favour" -Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games.

heads and tails

a souvenir from my past winter trip.. this is perfect for a coin toss!  it measured 3cm across.. lolx 

elise said this to me while i was flipping the coin a few hours ago: it never works for me. because i always end up getting heads! after a certain amount of practise, you can always get heads..

shall i tell you the real reason behind a coin toss? 

let's start with a question: what outcome were you are thinking of and wishing for in the split second when the silver was spinning in the air?
answer that question and you have your heart's decision. ultimately, a coin toss is an affirmation or a test of what you really want out of the choices at hand.

say you get heads which is not the outcome you wanted, your disappointment and reluctance to adhere to the results of your coin toss will confirm that it is the other result that you want and hoped for..

that is the true reason of my coin toss.

because, unlike Captain Jack Sparrow, we don't own a compass that points to our heart's deepest darkest desire.. ^^ of course, being me, neither is very useful.. i wound up taking a nap instead of reaching a decision *ah well~*

i'm bipolar

to laugh? or to cry? i cannot make up my mind. so i ended up doing both.. 

do you know what is this? 

the start of my dinner

it's like this. i was trying to make steamed eggs. i chucked everything into the plate.. it was already mixed. but then, i quite forgot that i previously used my rice cooker in lieu of a steamer instead of Elise's rice cooker. mine was quite unavailable today. the stainless steel plate which fitted perfectly into my rice cooker wasn't stable and it listed to one side.. taking about 75% of my egg mixture with it straight into my already washed rice in the pot. that was what i get..

when this happened, my mind just went blank.
i started making dinner even though i wasn't really interested.
and now, i have no idea what is my dinner going to be..

i suppose on the bright side, it would be something of a surprise.. i debated a long time, what should i do now.
honestly, all i wanted was to throw the pot right on the floor and then ignore it. hmm.. that sounds like a bad idea though, imagine all the cleaning i'd have to do..

this would of course be on top of the cleaning that i'd done yesterday..

see, i spilled my boiling hot noodle+ seaweed broth right on my lap yesterday.. so it scalded my thighs and because i didn't run sufficient cold water over it, i have a kind of like puffy marshmallow swelling filled with fluid on myself. it actually looks real cute and i was tempted to post a picture of it here..
*swt* because i'm afraid i'd burst it, i am so careful of my movements.. how am i going to wear my jeans and go to classes tomorrow????? *i'm having a bipolar moment now.. laugh or to cry*
it really hurts though until elise told me to lotion it..

have a good week everyone.. may no one have a weekend as pathetic as mine *TToTT*
and before i forget..


to all my celebrating friends: HAPPY EASTER!! ^^

Butterfly Effect

the capacity of the human brain is strange.. it is curious how a mere 1.5kg of gray mass could store a lifetime of memories, recall the small details in life, coordinate our movements, i cannot even begin to enumerate the many wonders of it..

i remember him as the quiet wrinkly old uncle.. he was thin, balding with a sharp swarthy tanned face that was well-lined. he was always looking at something else, almost like there was something far off that he would see and not us. he would go out for his afternoon tea when i went to pick up my scooter from his garage after class in the afternoon. sometimes, he would smile when i acknowledged him. he never said much at all.. our conversations lasted the maximum, less than a minute..
when i visited his house, he would be sitting in front of the television, watching his channels.. it is funny that, while i cannot remember what is it he always watched, i do remember that faraway gaze he had over his morning coffee.. we would never forget to say hello to him when we do see him at that old coffee shop during breakfast..

picture by David J. Nightingale © 2003–12

his children and grandchildren were always kind to us.. his daughter would send us food when she made extra, cookies during chinese new year, i remember her giving me popsicle sticks from her fridge when i visited.. even lunch was at her house at some point in my life..

we never talked in fact.. isn't it amazing that i remember all this given how seldom we interact?

"when a butterfly flutters its wings, on the opposite side of the world, a tornado is created" 

this is, what i understand, the distilled basis of Butterfly Effect.
maybe this is allusion to how sometimes, it is the little details that touch the heart.. and those who are seem to have passed on, they live right in the hearts they have touched.. who knows their time on earth? do you?

all the more reason for us to cherish every moment.. for tedious life may seem, it is simultaneously exquisitely fragile. 

it's friday! :))

 happy weekend guys, and babes~

its the end of first full week back [or is the second? i lost track] and i have saturday class *sad* however, this does mean my weekdays are not so stuffed with classes.. while it is rankling and annoying that we are not required to take and endless string of various rubbish subjects which we doubt would help much in our future careers, it does mean less core subjects this semester

i have yet to get around to properly loading whatever little pictures i did take on my eurotrip.. i liked this one best of all the pictures i took.. it's pretty dark and i bet you can't guess which famous landmark of Italy this is.. i have one taken with normal lighting and this one is coloured such thanks to my camera's sunset setting.

the beginnings of sunset at Pisa

i really had fun walking around window shopping on my trip. and one of the most unfathomable things that i could've bought on my trip came from this tribal stuff shop in Rome.. i bought my dream catcher here [they had them in a few sizes ranging from small to be worn as a necklace to a huge one made from 3 different medium sized ones]

we got one each between me and elise :) lovely dreams~

plus, i got myself:

                                       
one's for amanda, and one is for me, but anyway, it was like such an unexpected treasure find! *rebellious*
i have this feeling of being confined so strongly that it is getting harder and harder to supress the urge to just throw caution to the winds *rueful*

dragged myself out and away from my lappy finally to go collect my pineapple tarts *yummmmmm* mum sent a box via sharon [thank you sharon for being such a lovely senior every time!!! *hugss*]

i do have a bone to pick on this though.. mum sent me really cute adorable tiny pineapple tarts.. *shrug* is it just me or did the CNY cookies shrink this year??? 

yeaaahhh.. :( i managed to drag myself out into the cold away from my k-pop music mondays and immortal song 2 to go look her up.. 

for my birthday last year, Alyssa gifted me this really beautiful Neroli&Frangipani BodyMousse from OrganicShop.. being a mousse, it was really moisturising and cool.. i also liked the fragrance so much that i bought a new tub today. 

however, because i get dry so easily during winter [i mean SUPER dry], i got the body butter instead. the choices were limited and i didn't want to smell like lychees or white chocolate so:

 i got the tea one instead.. *grin* it was only after i got back that it occured to me: this is the third tea product i own currently. excluding all the teas that i drink

p.s. have a happy weekend everyone~

like a curious junkie

one of the things that my friends from highschool do know about me is my lack of interaction with the worldwideweb.. imagine how it was like when i finally *oh yesssss.. Finallllyyyy* do get access to unlimited internet.. and as of a year and a half ago, Speedy Unlimited Cheap access.. *ohhhhhhh just so happppyyyyy!*

there's this thing that i really love about Russia's internet, it allows me to youtube efficiently.. when we were in highschool, my friends would forever be hyping about something on youtube and i would never get what the hype was about until some age away when someone would explain it to me.. i'm not saying i missed a lot, don't think i did.. 

but i think i am kinda starting to understand the world's obsession with youtube..

let me introduce you to the channels that i got addicted or interested in over the past months:
the first being, Sorted food..

http://sortedfood.com/ 

this was a kind of fluke i think.. it started with a picture that someone posted on FB, a recipe called Cake in a Mug.. i think it was from 9gag.com if memory serves.. either way, it really intrigued me cos i like food.. i like to eat.. but i also like minimal work =))))) this combination is both presented in a large part of sortedfood's recipes.. do check out their youtube channel for really great ideas! the cute chef doesn't hurt *slywink*

WARNING: i don't know about you, but watching their channel induces my gastric juices.. every time without fail.. *sigh*

which i think i should mention by the way, that Cake in the Mug recipe? it worked.. for real.. honest.. 

after that, i found Maangchi thanks to my addiction to this korean reality show "We Got Married" season1.. i had this period of raving about this reality show at every chance i got, and it being a reality show, they made it a task for their couples to make kimchi together in the one episode.. [this is a really bad explanation/summary of the show really.. the first set of couples for this show is was so great i could just rewatch that first 40 episodes and be done with it] anyway, back to Maangchi.. i got interested in the process of making kimchi and korean cuisine which i could plainly see them eat all the time.. 

*thinking* my salivary juices really does get me going around the Net, eh?

http://www.maangchi.com/

her recipes are not  to say all simple, but you know she puts effort in making them as easy as possible without affecting the original taste to them.. [I FOUND THE FISH SAUCE to make kimchi in Russia *gasp* *silence* sorry. . . *troll face*]

hmm.. what i did find next were some really girly stuff, like Michelle Phan [totally famous now], bubz beauty [a recent find, maybe a week or so ago?], frmheadtotoe [it was this blogger/youtuber who first introduced me to the various techniques and ways to beauty from when i was in college.. not that i actually took the advice to heart, but it was fun reading about them! ;)] and last in my current list would be beautifymeeh [stumbled on this one a few months back and she is SO skinny..O.O and pretty..] 

then of course, there were the channels that made my days funnier, happier.. made me laugh on days when my mood was darker than the bottom of an old skillet *blah blah blah*

my recent rave channel is:

simon and martina from www.eatyourkimchi.com

they have a few channels, one for bloopers, one archive and the main channel.. 

it all started when i found their W.T.F BB cream video [Wonderful Treasure Find] *raised eyebrows* and i continued onto their W.A.N.K [Wonderful Adventure Now Korea] videos which are ongoing and their Kpop Mondays..
they are Super funny.. believe me.. [okay, so i have this sense of humour where its not much of a challenge to make me laugh] but still.. they pick out funny things about korean music videos, music all from a foreign English person's point of view.. 

they are probably the reason elise looks at me strangely of late, ever since we got back from our first Eurotrip *mad grin*

[am i like super into korean stuff now or what *whaddever* they deserve my attention *bonemeltinghotness*]

anyway, other funny channels that made short work of my funnybone would be jkim  this super funny [CUTE] guy, he has two channels so its just take your pick really.. then there's luan.. oh dear goodness, how to even begin telling you about luan.. just watch his videos.. sometimes he strikes me just as another angry american teen, but when you least expect it, he springs golden nuggets of wise words at you *caught more than once* ;)

of course, with all the video posting of songs and music on FB, one can hardly escape from finding a few online musicians that you uber lurvvee.. i have a few in mind, but i'm gonna go easy on you lot [my post sure is getting so out of hand yeah? *laughs*] and just say, i like Jun Sung Ahn  and Lindsey Stirling .. 

P.S. i finally am moving myself, even if only a limp.. am still in procrastination mode, if less.. *shakes head* bad bad.. 

i came back from my first Microbe class today and let me tell you, i really am struggling to be comfortable with my current class combination.. i like the normal class combinations much better!!! *pouts* :(

of rocky choc chip cookies and procrastination

after much much procrastination, i randomly decided to bake a batch of choc chip cookies and just use all the choc that's been sitting in the pantry and tempting anyone who sees them.. [i swear, my friends decided that they could munch on that just fine since i wasn't baking anyway]


and, the verdict, they were awesome flavour-wise.. *something fishy coming up* because, it was total chocolate chip OVERLOAD *sweat face* my experiment rats loved that..

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ♥

 uhh.. just not the texture.. after it cooled, some parts of it were rock hard.. i think, it would've made really awesome ammo.. i actually had to tape a huge CAUTION sticker on the cookie jar after that..

and i've a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened..

i was attempting to create this huge giant cookie that i saw on youtube [more about this totally cool channel later] and the recipe was all in WEIGHT.. you guys might not know this, but i estimate my ingredients.. always have and always will until i decide to get a weighting scale.. the previous successful recipes had instructions to measure ingredients by cups/ tablespoons and such.. 

so.. *grimly* yes, i played around with the numbers..

XDDD amanda came up with an even better explanation.. this was what she said to me in whatsapp:
" you know how when you bake, you bake with love? in your case, i think it was tough love"

i was like "whattttt. . . *sweatface*" she probably had a point..
i do apologise and i promise that the next batch would be less lethal.. i hope ;)


another thing that i finally did get myself to do was to make sushi.. again.. this is not my first attempt.. but it was my first time making it alone.. it wasn't too bad, if you are considering how fast they disappeared while i worked.. pretty simple and foolproof too!

i found myself with some leftover rice and sausage.. this resulted in:

sausage bits onigiri.. i still haven't quite mastered onigiri art just yet.. so give me some time and i will.. *challenge accepted*

overall, it was a pretty good day.. self declared holiday and all.. watched a couple of movies, read a few interesting bits of goss on FB.. [we are such attention whores!]  i actually made all the food on the 13th, the day before Valentine's..

thanks to roomie and bestie, miss elise for the photos, being in them and being one of my first lab rats.. [she always is] and last but not least for hanging around so so much xoxo

Valentine's day Cupcakes from darling Sherylee.. THANK YOU SO UBER MUCH!!! *nom nom nom*

P.S i'm such a procrastinator.. *on rampage*