in about another day and a couple of hours (give of take another couple of hours) it will be 2 months since i arrived at the airport and thought to myself, i don't know what is that customs officer talking about. lolx. i kid you not.

that was, and still is, the hardest part of being here. not being able to ask the questions i want to ask. or to understand the conversation that i hear (me being naturally 7+1 XD)
between that and physics, sometimes i wonder what am i doing here. (okay, that was just black humour)
its -16 degrees today and freaking cold *duh* my first day of under -10 degrees. i gave in to temptation and just got out my thermals and gloves. the coat room granma noticed that i did not wear ear-muffs or hat and started lecturing me on the topic of keeping warm.. *lmao* some of them are really seriously nice~~

so in this two months, we settled in our hostels. started classes. flew through anatomy classes (we are due for muscles colloq tomorrow *DEAD*) so fast that my brain just cannot download AND SAVE it fast enough. let's not mention physics, general Chem and Bio-Org Chem much less Russian classes and Latin *urgh* (i skipped all my phys Ed classes. too cold to walk to the place. *evil laugh*) we have at least ONE colloq (its something like class tests) EVERY WEEK. so much so that we are starting to feel anesthetized to the thought of colloq. (sad to say)

oh, and i changed my group. we share lectures, but otherwise the whole year is divided into about 15/16 groups. and yours truly wanted to stick with elise who ended up in Group12. therefore, i spent the first 2 weeks agonising and bugging the office (and Maggie) to change me from 9 to 12. so i want to say a big thank you to Maggie *hugs* for changing with me. never mind that group9 is supposedly the better choice. Group12 is fun! (with KaiChi around. . .) and a good part of them are studentcheskaya students. lolx.

never mind that most of the kids here are a year younger than me. they are all much smarter. and sometimes, they make it easy for me to forget my age (which is a great thing!) i love hanging out with them =)))

i just saw something today and all i could think about was, has it really been only 2 months. why do i feel like it has been much more? some things has changed, i can feel it, but not put a finger to it. is it you? or have i just neglected you?
all i wanted was to always be there. maybe i was selfish, i wanted you to always be there for me too. has my understanding lessened?
i respect what you want. what you want, i will always give.
even when i don't understand. even if i cannot find it in me to justify so.

i wish you would just talk to me.

because, i don't want you to struggle alone. even if i cannot help, i still want to help.
this is how selfish i am.