holding hands..

smiling..

a smile that tells you all is well..

holding hands..

assuring you to have no fear,

for you, i will always just be here...

hugging and comforting..

learning to be your tissue,

affectionately..

loving..

always, forever, just the same..

gently, softly

*kiss*

i had this aversion to human contact when i was a kid.. holding hands?? Nah~ i wasn't affectionate or cuddly..

human contact means caring.. it means love~


that was what Amanda taught me..

how did we meet??

fresh from Primary 6.. to say i really hated my primary school then was an understatement.. i can't tell you how glad i am to be out.. (little did i know then how fast i was to fall from the frying pan into the fire..) can't really blame anyone.. it was just an issue of me, my attitude and fitting in.. ancient history.. but i digress.. i was telling you about Amanda..

i first saw her at 5am in one of KYSM's girls dorm. she was sitting in the bed across me, hugging her knees and i was pushing myself up from my sweet slumber. she caught my eye and smiled at me.. with her angelic smile that reached her eyes, i loved her from that very second..

we were in the same group for that whole week in KYSM. we went for our interviews together..

we prepared our group's presentation for Closing Night together..

then, during Closing Night and she was nervous..

she asked if she could hold my hand~ i was stunned..

brave, sweet, amazing Amanda nervous? and she wanted to hold my hand..

i could see now that i had underestimated friendship then. i did not see the power that friendship holds.. plus, no one had ever asked like that.. her gentle respect held my thoughts and feelings for that second. holding her hand, i found my nerves recovering.. and it reaffirmed the connection we had..

Amanda got the KYSM offer, and i never saw her again.. after some feeble attempts at contact, it trailed off.. but i don't begrudge her the offer.. she deserved it way more than i did..

there's no one like Amanda again.. she who reached out and taught me to love, to be affectionate, true gentle respecting friendship.. and i owe her that.. she may not be here reading this, and i may have lost this friend, but somehow.. i will always remember her, for what she has done..

dear Amanda, thank you.. and may you always be well and happy~