Banana- a person of Chinese Parentage and yet unable to fully grasp the 3 skills of the Chinese Language, namely, reading, writing and conversing. hence the nickname, yellow-skinned and yet 'white' inside.. the 'white' symbolises English and 'yellow' refers to us Chinese..
i first learnt of this term when i was in Form2.. a senior called me that right in my face.. i guess i should appreciate his gesture, cause this is when i learnt this phrase.. it hurt.. not so much anymore and it bloody well shouldn't anymore.. hell, i spent like the rest of my years in secondary school coming to terms with this and learning to cope with this.. well, guess what, it STILL hurts ok??
i spent my time hating Chinese Language.. cause it made my life bloody miserable.. owh, its not like i can't understand it.. the problem here is that i understand only too well what is being said about me.. that's the damn problem.. and some people that i have ever met seem to enjoy pointing this out to me.. all i ever heard of is, how come you can't read?? why can't you write?? HEY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH, OK?? i never learnt before.. i'm an ignorant hick. now, happy?? so that's another flaw in me.. so?? sure, people like to say that chinese language is getting more important these days, and?? its not like i can cope with another subject to learn now.. please, if you have a bloody problem with me not being unable to read and write in chinese then that's your damn problem, pals.. so you can get you asses off the subject cause i DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS AGAIN, ARE WE CLEAR???? if you are interested in teaching me, then do you think tou can do it without the snide remarks?? if not, then just shut the hell up!!
look, like i said, i hated this language.. used to.. it took me so long to forget that i hated this awesome language and now, its all tainted by SOMEONE who kindly decided that i'm an idiotic and useless person just because i have this "PROBLEM".. *snicker.. if they only knew how bad my skills were initially.. and how much effort put in by the people around me to help out.. like i want to be a hindrance over the language.. i hate these situations.. if you don't want to answer me, you can just say so, you know..
don't get me wrong, i still have some love for this language.. Chinese Language is actually very beautiful to me in many ways and i can't seem to stop appreciating it.. too bad.. so now, i'm plenty pissed and stressed.. i wonder if i'm a useless person, i wonder if there's something wrong with me(like there's not enough that's wrong there..), i wonder whose fault is it.. my parents? for not sending me to chinese school.. (ok, not this one, i'm very sure, cause i trust them to do the best for me..)
back with 91Gengzz, this doesn't hurt.. sure, they like to point it out but on the other hand, after the teasing, they teach me without my having to ask.. even when JRong is aiming to hurt the most, he fails.. Xi and Ying, i swear, i didn't want it to happen this way.. but i promise that i won't waste the effort that you guys put in to teach me all these years.. maybe i will pick up everything again when i go back.. see, somehow, no one can compare to you guys as my teachers.. love you guys^^ man, *sigh how i know how different it is without you lot here.. *cry
a very tired Yingz..
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